blorf

we were having a star wars marathon at my apt the other day, because chaya and i realized our roommate mille had never seen episodes 4, 5, or 6. which was great because i had not watched them in a long time. but there is one scene i have a problem with. it is the princess leia gold bikini part, when jabba the hutt has her chained to him on his lap. my thing is, why would jabba the hutt find princess leia AT ALL attractive? he is a giant, disgusting slug. so wouldn't he mainly be attracted to other giant slugs? i could also see, although it is a stretch, him having a sexy walruses pin-up calendar or something like that. it wouldn't necessarily have to be in the slug family. but princess leia?? it just doesn't make any sense. i guess matters of the heart are very mysterious.

on another important topic, i have decided that my next dog is going to be a labradoodle. i was at the dry cleaners last week picking up a pair of boots when some guy and his daughter walked in with their labradoodle. so i asked, to make sure, is that a labradoodle? obvs very excited about it. and he was like, actually, it's a golden doodle! which is a golden retriever/poodle mix, instead of lab. so i was petting and fussing over their dog, and then pretty soon the man from the dry cleaners had come around the counter and was also fussing over him, and then the dry cleaner's assistant, and the customer behind us, everybody ruffling his ears and saying things like, "who's a good doodle?!" haha. the best part, aside from how cute they are, is that they don't shed! they are specially designed to be hypo-allergenic.

ugh, so sad. i wonder if this thing about all the sleeping problems he had after playing the joker is true?

6:02
Headline news: His role as the Joker was so troubling and demonic to him that he had trouble sleeping at night.
"physically and mentally draining"
"i took one ambien and it didnt work. i took a second and i fell asleep only to wake up an hour later."
-rough quote from an interview about being the joker

i like how on my phone when i am text messaging, T9 tries to prevent me from swearing. "oh shiv!" haha. well F U, T9. i am going to swear all i want.

even though i utterly hate running under any circumstances, i do like to imagine that if i wanted to, i'd be really good at it. sometimes people jog past me on the street in their crazy running gear in the middle of december and i think to myself, pssh. i could beat that. no problem. but in actuality, if any of my recent running is much of an indication, well, yes, i am an awesome runner. because today i ran from my doorstep one and a half blocks toward the train, and in that one and a half blocks i kept a very good pace.

tomorrow i am going to watch the runners pass in the NYC marathon. i am worried about the cold, getting tired of standing, the wind, how many donuts, bagels, and chai teas i will need to tide me over, and my ears hurting from the wind and cold. all in all, it's going to take a lot of endurance to stand there eating my snacks and cheering occasionally. i will have a big plate of spaghetti for dinner tonight, though, which will help. that's called, "carbing up."

there is a rumor katie holmes is going to be in the race. i can imagine all the weird conversations other runners will try to have with her during those 26 miles.

fan: katie holmes! wow! (panting) i love your work!
k holm: (between breaths) thank ... you !
fan: so you left suri with tom? um, unsupervised?
k holm: (attempts to quicken pace) what?
fan: okay! no, that's fine. i'd just, i'd be a little worried.
k holm: ... uh huh
fan: i also hear you and tom sleep in separate beds. is that true?? haha. because that's crazy.
k holm: (feigns cramp in side) oh! cramp! god, i'm going to walk. really slowly. you go on ahead.

it is hard to sleep next to a snorer though. i would maybe get a separate bed too, if it was thunderous snoring. most of my best friends have been snorers. i think it is an indication of a good personality trait, like high self-esteem or something. but seriously, if you are a light sleeper it is hard to deal with that shit.

in my cataloging class we are learning a lot of kind of dull things. for instance (and i am sure the two people reading this are really excited to continue now), the ramifications of forgetting a semicolon in a MARC record. specificially, this makes it so that the searchable title might not omit the word "the" from the beginning (dear lord!! haha. no. nobody really thinks this would be a big deal. although... by "nobody" i guess i just mean... me).

but some things really are exciting if you aspire to be a librarian. for instance, now i understand why there are often several records for one item (the cataloger made a mistake in the "100" field). and i also realize how the complete works of madonna, the singer/former whore, were once automatically filed under the subject heading, "mary, blessed virgin mother of god." true story.

today, my professor passed out a list of the library of congress subject headings added this year. new subject headings are added when a certain "literary capacity" is reached. so i guess topics like, "brands of socks," or, "susan saradon movies that do not involve her playing a smart, sassy feminist," would need more entries to justify a unique subject heading.

some of the new headings were pretty standard, like "water filters" or "multi-sided platform businessess." but they also added:

- fantasy sports
- gangsta rap (spelled like that)
- sex dolls
- christian lesbians
- true crime stories

and, my favorite,

- dogs with disabilities

awww.

chaya and i got to see barack obama speak in washington square park tonight. i had to go back to work, so now i am sitting here, thinking all about things. like for instance, what an amazing president barack obama would make. and, how strange it would be to feel proud of the person in the white house, instead of horrified and dismayed.

but i mean, i had all my hopes pinned on gore in 2000, and as we are aware that did not end well. then i was sure john kerry would beat bush, after all the vomitous stuff bush did in his first term. but no! the country preferred bush, because, um, he's not a flip-flopper?! ahhhhrrrgh! it makes me insane just thinking about it.

so this election, i had kind of planned on not caring. i was going to be all, "democratic, republican, whatever. i don't give a SHIT anymore." but now i am imagining that wonderful moment when the speaker gets on the podium and says, "i now pronounce you... THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, mr. barack obama!!"

ehh. it kind of sucks to have a candidate you desperately want to win!

this story about a double-nosed andean tiger hound is so odd. i almost think someone at the bbc just made the whole thing up, and photo-shopped an extra nose onto a dog. because "double-nosed andean tiger hound" is just too ridiculous. obvs the person naming the dog was trying to cram in as many sweet adjectives as they could. and the explorer who discovered the dog sounds really phony too. "colonel john blashford-snell." i mean, that cannot be a real name. but i like where the explorer described his first sighting of the dog (in the amazon jungle?) and had to qualify the whole thing with, "I was sober at the time..." hahahha.

i guess it's real though, and this dog actually exists. but being a double-nosed dog seems like it would have a lot of advantages. after all, half of their life is spent sniffing things, so it must be pretty enjoyable, otherwise, why would they bother? this would allow quite a bit of extra sniffing.



the bbc also linked to this story about a burmese python that tried to swallow an alligator and exploded. so now i think that we could add "python vs. alligator" to the shark vs. cougar debate. it's hard to say who is more deadly, because, sure, the alligator got eaten by the python. but didn't the alligator in effect win, since he caused the python to explode? or is it considered a stalemate? hard to say.

after our soccer game last sunday (a dismal loss of 5-2, but only half our team showed up! alex and i ran ourselves to death, very exhausting) alex got his wallet stolen on the subway. it was scary. we play our soccer games on the waaaaaay upper west side, almost the bronx, and the whole team had just gotten on the 1 train when alex felt someone rummaging around in his bag. so he turns to the scary guy next to him, only other person on the platform, and says, "what the hell, man?" and the guy was like, "uhhh, you dropped your wallet over there." now, alex had not even mentioned a wallet to the man, so basically the mugger had given himself away. alex stood in the train door to keep it from leaving, checked for his wallet, which wasn't there - and said - "you stole my wallet!" i got up, and our whole team started yelling, "call the police! there's been a theft!" so the guy got scared and ran back through the turn style out of the subway. alex chased him (with me yelling, "no! come back!") and the guy took all the cash and threw the wallet back at alex. there was only $6 in the wallet, so it was not much of a loss, thank goodness. but what a day! the police came, and our whole team talked at once, trying to give a description of the perp. then the cops drove alex around, looking for the thief in case he was still wandering the area. he was not. still, about six officers responded, and they were all very concerned, so i feel hopeful about the wallet-stealing situation in this city.

how do they stay on?! it's remarkable. i think my9 news should be all over this.

kind of related, i have been having this recurring nightmare where i am standing on the subway platform and a bunch of rats come up to say hello. this is actually the happy part of the dream, because spotting rats in the subway is my favorite thing to do when i am waiting for a train, along with 1. angrily wondering where in the h my train is and 2. reading. so at first i am excited to pet the little rats. but then they start changing into huge, diseased, mean rats with matted fur and red eyes, like out of "1984." i keep tentatively petting them, because i don't know what else to do, but then they start biting my hands and arms. i try to fling them off, but their jaws are really strong. they start pulling me to the ground, and i realize they are going to eat me alive. so i freak out, grab a rat by its head and back legs, and snap its spine in half. i kill like two dozen rats this way before i wake up crying.

and i've had this dream about 7 times now! i really hate it.

on a, um, happier note, ratatouille is coming out soon! i'm pretty excited. i hope it's as good as i think it will be. i read in the times that the pixar animators spent hours and hours in fancy french restaurants doing research.

and what hard research that must have been! vacationing in paris, eating three-star meals...

i learned last week that samuel alito is an anagram of "i am a sellout." and this made me remember how much i love anagrams, so i have been working on some of people's names. so far i like alex's the best.

( i'm warning you they are really lame )

i am working on some others. amy's has been tough. i'm not sure why because there are plenty of vowels in there, i'm just stuck. bri and rog, i had to resort to middle names, so it may be a while. megan, you have waaay too many g's and m's and n's, but i'm doing what i can. tom's was going to be "tlc & fashion, men!" except i realized i have an "m" leftover.

and i realized there are lots of people whose last names i don't know (kristi! eric!) or am not positive how to spell. so, you should tell me them. if i know your last name you can be sure i have been working on your anagram. and that so far i have failed to come up with something that isn't totally retarded.

this sofa:



costs $249. and i want it. so i called ikea to see about getting it delivered. after waiting on hold for, not kidding, 27 minutes, a very nice sales lady was like:

vnsl: ma'am?
me: yeah?
vnsl: the subtotal for the cost of the couch comes to $249. shipping to grand rapids is going to be... $266, so that brings your total to-
me: HAHAHHAHAHAH! who would pay that much for shipping! that's more than the cost of the-
vnsl: (hangs up)

she hung up on me! which made me laugh even harder, and feel weirdly proud of that sales lady. i want to call back and congratulate her for not taking any crap.

anyway, looks like i'll be going to chicago soon for a trip to ikea. so if anyone wants anything tell me and i'll pick it up. because even if you just buy an ikea kleenex, they charge you $79 for shipping. that's where shipping starts.

HALLOWEEN COSTUME PARTY

Saturday Oct 29, At
Our House (644 E Fulton)




sadly the squirrel will probably not be able to make it. i think i'm bringing him/her (i don't know which it is!) to my brother's for the night because all the drunk people and noise would be way too traumatic.

unrelated but anne's car died at an office max! i have to put on some pants and go get her.

well this sucks, but i've had to make all my posts friends only now, because there is some scary stuff going on with people at my work getting in trouble over livejournal. so if for some reason i have not friended you let me know! and i will add you.